I Want Better

I want better.

I find this double mindedness debilitating
And I am hating the outcomes that I see

I want to flee from reality
Because of the way the world treats me

You see
I want better.

Seeking my significance in others
Is not what the lover of my soul had in mind

He wants me to find the divine love
And he gives me enough to snuff out

Any enemy
So I would not have to plea

For anyone to validate me
I want better.

I deserve way more than mediocre
And I’m tired of being broker

Than any two cent share
On the stock exchange

I want to proclaim prosperity
Not to brag on myself

But to declare your wealth
So others may know about

Your greatness.
I want better.

I’m mad at me
For allowing the tragedy of people-pleasing

Because of teasing
Lord, you have my best interest at heart and

You want to impart the wisdom of what is coming
I just have to quiet my spirit

So I can hear it.
I want better.

I want the best but sometimes I settle for less
Because silently I felt I was cursed

To be the worst
But in the midst of low self esteem

I still believed in me
And with the vision

Although others may not agree
You said

To wait on me,
Because it will tarry.

I want better.
I plan to see the promised land

But even as the quicksand
Tries to suck me up

Lord you fill my cup
And when I want to doubt God

You work it out
And when life seems barren

You are still caring
And you are daring me to trust you

And that is what I must do if
I want better.

Hope

My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus’
blood and righteousness
This hope is all I have when I feel that all hope is gone
I have to remember where my hope is built

I hope so I can encourage someone who does not
know Christ
I hope so in darkness someone can see the light
I hope because I cannot put my trust in man
I hope in Christ because He knows my plans
I hope because I know I have an expected end
I hope in Christ because my broken heart He mends
I hope so I can make it through the day
And I hope because there is a debt
I can not repay

God so loved the world that a blessed hope was given –
Christ was born, He was crucified, and now He’s risen!

Whenever someone tries to steal my joy
I hope I remember I’m Abba’s baby boy
And I hope whenever I’m down and I’m feeling weak
I hope in my secret place His face I seek

I need to hope –
My faith is the substance of things hoped for
The evidence is not seen
The reason I place my hope in Christ is
He’s my everything

I hope so I can give hope to others
I hope so I can speak life to my sisters and brothers
The life of Christ is the blessed hope and why I live
So if Christ is hope and He brings life
He is who I give

 

Jeffrey Banks, poetically known as “Big Homey” received his Masters in Divinity at Howard University. A regular fixture in poetry series in the DMV area, he’s had opportunity to perform with major entertainment figures, and is the recipient of artist grants from the DC Commission on the Arts and Humanities. A finalist in the DC Poet Project he’s also a poet educator and a fundraising and events consultant to non-profits. He’s taken opportunities to bring his artist activism as an advocate against homelessness and in 2019 his poetry was featured in the National Association for Poetry Therapy anthology.

Image by Davidvraju – Own work, CC BY-SA 4.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=80047190

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here